#5

There is a new beast taking over the earth as the newest favorite family pet. This new creature is called a hawggy. It has characteristics of many different animals, but most usually come from a hawk or a piggy. Often nicknamed "The Flying Bacon," this is one of the coolest hybrid pets ever. Although greasy, the hawggy does not shed or leave spots behind. They are hypoalergenic, perfect for any and all families. As far as a hawggy's diet goes, they are fond of corn feed and mice. Their ideal meal would be a festively plump, corn-fed farm mouse. The pet has a very calm, mild temper and loves to just relax. They have the ability to go on walks and often take flight. This gives an opportunity to the owner to not have to carry the weight of the leash. This may be beneficial for older owners who are more frail and less likely to be able to bear this great weight. The hawggy is also very friendly to guests. Since it is so friendly, everyone loves it and wants their very own. This is extremely helpful to hawggy breeders and investors.

#4

Thank you for your inquiry about our newest product. This is the EggWhiter 3000Z, a revolutionary new invention from StupidThingys Inc. This product has been in research and development for over five years and has recently been put in the marketplace. It is the most current verison yet. It features and open top where you dispense the cracked inside of your egg. The EggWhiter keeps the yolk inside the head, simulating a brain-like substance. It allows the egg whites to flow out the "nose" of the product, and into your perfectly prepared healthy omelet. Although many think it is disgusting to look at, it is quite honestly one of the most practical utensils in your kitchen. It helps you stay healthy by creating meals with only egg whites, the healthiest part. It also provides for conversation at the table and with guests. The EggWhiter 3000Z retails at $14.99, but you can get it today for your low price of $9.99 (plus S&H). Call 1-800-4-WHITER for your's today. CALL NOW!!!!! And, if you call in the next 1/2 second, we'll send you an additional EggWhiter 3000Z for FREE! Call 1-800-4-WHITER now!

#3 Every Little Detail

Welcome to upstate New York. This is the Windom Hills Apple Orchard located outside of Buffalo. Here the grass is green as the Garden of Eden. As summer fades into fall, the trees begin to change in color like a catapillar morphing into a butterfly. Shades of crimson and auburn are highlighted by the sunlight. The picket fence outlines the orchard and prevents animals from entering. The rolling hills of Windom are seen in the distance. The blue of the sky provides a point of definition between earth and heavens. The posts in the orchard hold up the apple trees bearing a coveted fruit. The mornings in Windom are like a crisp apple, something that everyone enjoys. Visitors of Windom Hills come for the experience. One can hear the crackling fire as they enter. Next to the fire is a mini-donut stand whose aroma can be sensed a mile away. The kids enjoy the hayride that goes through the pumpkin patch. Picking your own apples is the highlight of the orchard. Everyone who visits Windom Hills leaves satisfied with an unforgettable day in the outdoors.

#2 I'm Britney Spears

So my name is Britney and I'm such a big deal. I mean I have so many fan sites and they just tell me how much they love me. So like check out this one site and I'll show you how much I'm loved. At the VMAs last weekend, I totally dominated like every aspect of the show. I won 3 VMAs for year's best video, best female artist, and best pop video. They poparazzi just can stay off me. I mean they had their camera snapping constantly all night at the VMAs and now they're all over this site. And then the morning after, I went to Starbucks to pick up a morning coffee. And you wouldn't believe who I saw there...oh wait it was the poparazzi again! These pictures are now all over the internet and this site. Everybody just loves seeing me everywhere. Gosh I'm so popular. And then on the site when you go to the Forum area, they just try to gossip about me. You can't hate me though, I mean I'm the best around, all people want to look at is me. They post so many pictures of me that I don't even know they took, but gosh I'm just the bomb. I can't believe they try to call me fat, I mean have you seen me lately, I'm so hot!

#1 Stunna

This is Joe everybody. Say hi to Joe. "HI JOE!!!" Now Joe is a squirrel as you can see, but he is no ordinary squirrel. No, this is G.I. Joe the squirrel, recently sent out to fight the chipmunk army. Joe has been recently outfitted by the a tree in his nearby home grove. He has a helmet made from the top of an acorn and a newly designed stick for battle, seen over his right shoulder. Joe and his other squirrel friends have gotten into an argument over an acorn stash that was discovered lately. Both the squirrels and the chipmunks claim that the stash is theirs and was clearly established long before the other found it. In an effort to confront the chipmunks, the squirrels have mounted up and prepared to take the stash by force.


Welcome to Iraq. As you know there has been a recent surge in United States troops in an effort to confront insurgent forces around the cities and provinces of Iraq. The troops were seeing significantly better results and less attacks by guerilla forces of the Middle East. However, lately there have been new militia around town. These seemingly nice furry fellows have been outfitted with sighted RPGs and kevlar helmets. Believe it or not, we need more troops to counteract the newest age of terrorism: G.I. Squirrels! Please send a letter of support of a new surge to your local senator or congressman. This is not a question of partisan support, but rather of a nation and people in need. The lives of many Iraqis and American forces heavily rely on the stoppage of the Squirrel Militia. Thank you for your support.