#3 Every Little Detail

Welcome to upstate New York. This is the Windom Hills Apple Orchard located outside of Buffalo. Here the grass is green as the Garden of Eden. As summer fades into fall, the trees begin to change in color like a catapillar morphing into a butterfly. Shades of crimson and auburn are highlighted by the sunlight. The picket fence outlines the orchard and prevents animals from entering. The rolling hills of Windom are seen in the distance. The blue of the sky provides a point of definition between earth and heavens. The posts in the orchard hold up the apple trees bearing a coveted fruit. The mornings in Windom are like a crisp apple, something that everyone enjoys. Visitors of Windom Hills come for the experience. One can hear the crackling fire as they enter. Next to the fire is a mini-donut stand whose aroma can be sensed a mile away. The kids enjoy the hayride that goes through the pumpkin patch. Picking your own apples is the highlight of the orchard. Everyone who visits Windom Hills leaves satisfied with an unforgettable day in the outdoors.

#2 I'm Britney Spears

So my name is Britney and I'm such a big deal. I mean I have so many fan sites and they just tell me how much they love me. So like check out this one site and I'll show you how much I'm loved. At the VMAs last weekend, I totally dominated like every aspect of the show. I won 3 VMAs for year's best video, best female artist, and best pop video. They poparazzi just can stay off me. I mean they had their camera snapping constantly all night at the VMAs and now they're all over this site. And then the morning after, I went to Starbucks to pick up a morning coffee. And you wouldn't believe who I saw there...oh wait it was the poparazzi again! These pictures are now all over the internet and this site. Everybody just loves seeing me everywhere. Gosh I'm so popular. And then on the site when you go to the Forum area, they just try to gossip about me. You can't hate me though, I mean I'm the best around, all people want to look at is me. They post so many pictures of me that I don't even know they took, but gosh I'm just the bomb. I can't believe they try to call me fat, I mean have you seen me lately, I'm so hot!

#1 Stunna

This is Joe everybody. Say hi to Joe. "HI JOE!!!" Now Joe is a squirrel as you can see, but he is no ordinary squirrel. No, this is G.I. Joe the squirrel, recently sent out to fight the chipmunk army. Joe has been recently outfitted by the a tree in his nearby home grove. He has a helmet made from the top of an acorn and a newly designed stick for battle, seen over his right shoulder. Joe and his other squirrel friends have gotten into an argument over an acorn stash that was discovered lately. Both the squirrels and the chipmunks claim that the stash is theirs and was clearly established long before the other found it. In an effort to confront the chipmunks, the squirrels have mounted up and prepared to take the stash by force.


Welcome to Iraq. As you know there has been a recent surge in United States troops in an effort to confront insurgent forces around the cities and provinces of Iraq. The troops were seeing significantly better results and less attacks by guerilla forces of the Middle East. However, lately there have been new militia around town. These seemingly nice furry fellows have been outfitted with sighted RPGs and kevlar helmets. Believe it or not, we need more troops to counteract the newest age of terrorism: G.I. Squirrels! Please send a letter of support of a new surge to your local senator or congressman. This is not a question of partisan support, but rather of a nation and people in need. The lives of many Iraqis and American forces heavily rely on the stoppage of the Squirrel Militia. Thank you for your support.